| Generally, in dealing with people, the first thing for us in Taiwan is the problem of giving people face, “face.” If you’re going to turn someone down, if you’re not going to give them the answer they want, you have to consider, the first thing is you have to turn them down indirectly. Or, if it’s possible, if you’re in a public setting, you have to consider the “face” problem. If you say no to someone in a public setting, you put them in an embarrassing position, one in which they lose face. So, in Taiwan we really stress face, “face.” If you are going to turn someone down, you have to use a very indirect phrasing or intonation. You even have to tell them, “I’ll [tell you] later.” Generally, if someone wants to tell you later, there’s a greater likelihood that they’re going to tell you no.
Usually, those who tell you no directly, their usually either people in a very high position, or something. They’ll probably tell you no directly. Whereas, in the business world, even if it’s a no pertaining to business, they won’t say so. They’re doing business on behalf of their company. To preserve their company’s image, they won’t say no directly. They’ll offer some, offer some reasons: “It’s not convenient.” Or, “It’s a company secret.” Or, what, or, “Our company’s in the middle of some stuff, so we’re too busy [to handle some things].” “We can’t do this kind of thing…no way [to arrange] a meeting….no way we can accept these terms….” These kinds of things. Or, if you have to say no, that is, talk, talk to them about not doing some business, you can find an excuse to sigh and say: “I can’t accept your terms because of our company’s executives, company policy.”
Because if you turn someone down directly, it’s like you’re offering a direct insult. You can find another reason. Because if, in the future, you’re doing business, or doing, the next time you deal with them, it won’t be too, you know, too awkward. Because Taiwan, it places more stress on face issues, feelings issues. Don’t turn someone down directly. When you say no directly, it feels like, like you’re not giving any face. They’ll say, uh, “I not being shown any respect.” So, when you say no, the first thing is to be indirect, to speak indirectly; having some finesse when you communicate is very important. So, knowing how to talk helps you do business, and in getting along with people. If you turn it around, people who give a direct, straightforward yes or no have a harder time. Their interpersonal relationships aren’t so good. OK. Thanks. | 一般那跟人家相处的话，我们在台湾，第一个要给人家面子问题，FACE。你如果要拒绝人家的话，不给人家正确答案的话，也就是要考虑到，第一个要委婉的拒绝。或可能的话，就是如果大众场合的话，给人家FACE问题。你很多大众场合拒绝人家的话，就给人家下不了台，面子会受不了。所以说，我们在台湾呢很重面子，FACE。你要拒绝人家也是非常要委婉的说法或语气。甚至于说给他说，我事后，一般来讲，就事后再给人家答案的话，那可能一般拒绝的成分就增加了。
一般直接拒绝的，一般除非是说他职位很高，或什么东西的话，他可能会直接给你拒绝。否则的话，一般在企业界里面，即使在企业界里面拒绝，他也不会说。他因为企业要做生意。他们为了他公司的形象，他一般不会直接拒绝。他会透过一些，一些理由来说，不方便哪，或是说，商业机密哪，或是说，怎样啊，或是说，我们公司在营运哪，有一些事情太忙哪。没办法做这种事情哪，没办法接受访问哪，接受一些条件哪，这些状况。或是说，你要拒绝的话，就是谈，跟他谈生意不接受的话，你可以找个理由说：哎，因为公司主管、公司的政策拒绝，没有办法接受你的条件。
因为你如果直接拒绝，好像是你直接得罪人家。你可以用其他的理由。以后的话，因为你做生意，或做，你又跟他相处关系，见面就不会太那个，太尴尬。因为我们这个台湾的话，就比较重视那个面子的问题，情的问题。不要直接拒绝人家。你直接拒绝人家，那么觉得，好像没有面子问题。他就会说，啊，不受到尊敬。所以说要拒绝，第一个要委婉的，委婉的口气，或者说交际手腕很重要。所以会讲话呢，做起生意来，或跟人家相处都比较好。而是反过来，比较直接的豪爽的说YES和NO的人，他就比较困难了。人际关系有时候就比较差一点。好，谢谢！ |